|Much as you may want to do so, there is no way to avoid this grief of yours.
You cannot wait it out,
you won’t get over it quickly, and nobody can do it for you.
It’s called grief work because finding your way through grief is hard work, and if
you put it off, like a messy chore it will sit there waiting to be done.
And the longer it waits, the harder it becomes.
A great deal of emphasis is put on the "Stages of Grief", I do not support this emphasis.
I believe we should concentrate on how it may affect your ability to function, every hour
of every day. It is not a sequential process of stages, once you finish with stage I you
move on to II. It feels a lot more like one step forward and two steps back.... It is an
emotional roller coaster....
Our bodies grieve. Your heart may actually ache, your head may hurt. Your stomach may
feel upset or ache. You may have difficulty sleeping. You will have difficulty
concentrating. You will feel exhausted. All are common to grievers. If you are worried at
all about you health please see your doctor
We have all sorts of feelings that hit us like waves, sorrow, anger, emptiness, anxiety,
pain, guilt, profound loss.. Accept them, they are neither good or bad…they just are.
They are likely to hit you unannounced when you least expect them…
Know they will not last forever…you can and will handle them.
Emotional distress is often displayed by crying/tears/eyes welling up with water, “a lump
in your throat” – an inability to talk…these very obvious physical signs… what about
those who don’t display their grief/distress outwardly…those who are not seen to
cry…those who hold their grief inside. Unfortunately, we are quick to assume their grief
is finished…when it may be just beginning….
Sometimes, it is all we can think about. Grief can play with your mind.
You may go over & over things in your head
Decisions seem so difficult to make
You forget things
You read the same sentence, over & over
You act differently & cant work out why
Some people feel they could never get through grief without faith.
Others say death destroyed their faith
Your spirit will search & yearn…your heart will ache.
For some this can be a time of spiritual growth…..
|There is no pain so great
as the memory of joy
in present grief